Kiss Goodbye to MS: a conversation with MS
MS: *brightly* Hiiiiiya.
Me: *reading* Oh, hi.
MS: *looks smug, puffs chest out* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya.
Me: *reluctantly putting down book* You looked pleased with yourself.
MS: Yes, you won't believe what they're saying about me!
Me: That you're a brain-scrambling, attention-seeking diva?
MS: There’s no need to be like that.
Me: I think you’ll find there’s every need. So go on then, what are they saying about you?
MS: Well, it’s very exciting, people love me! There's a campaign to Kiss MS!
Me: Erm, there's a what? A campaign to Kiss MS? Why on earth would anyone want to do that?
MS: *smiles winnningly* Many, many reasons. And look look look, it's here! Kiss MS.
Me: *reads website link* Yes. I think you'll find it actually says Kiss Goodbye to MS.
MS: What? *peers closely at website link* Oh.
Me: Yes, as usual, you have crashed into a perfectly happy moment and ruined it with your utter rubbishness.
MS: But whhhhyyyyy? Why would anyone want to Kiss Goodbye to MS? I'm so entertaining and exciting. Haven't I brought you fun little challenges over the past 13 years that have enlivened your existence? Haven't I made you feel like you're the star of some kind of extreme gameshow?
Me: If by "fun little challenges" you mean affecting my energy, legs, speech, vision, career path and family plans, then yes, you have been the very essence of a thrilling ride.
MS: Well then, what's your problem? As you know, I’ve always liked to think of myself as the spirit of entertainment. A little bit cheeky, a little bit naughty *winks to camera*.
Me: Please don’t do that. MS: Sorry. *under breath* Not sorry.
Me: So this campaign, what's its aim? *Reads website link* Ah, it's asking people to take a lipstick selfie, give up something for a month and raise funds for research. Sounds reasonable. I could give up talking to you for a start.
MS: Rude. Me: Is it? Anyway, the more funds, the more research and the more hope of getting shot of you for good.
MS: Ha ha. Well, hang on, not so fast chirpy. Just because people are putting on lippie, giving up stuff and raising a few pounds doesn't mean there will be a quick fix now does it? Research takes a lot of time and may I remind you that I've been around for quite a while myself.
Me: Yes, I suppose you have.
MS: Yes, you suppose so correctly. So until the research does its thing, I’m just going to lurk around a bit. Silently. Waiting. Like the ever-present threat I am.
Me: *stands up* Ok, but don't expect me to wait around with you.
MS: Where are you going?.
Me: To get my lipstick.
About Caroline: Caroline was diagnosed with MS 14 years ago. She loves music, her family and friends and the occasional gin. Read more from Caroline on her blog.