The Thief

That means I have no remissions, just a steady decline, and nobody can tell me how steep or quick.

Looking at me you couldn’t tell. But seeing me walk or listening to me would have you believe I'm drunk. Being Scottish some people think that anyway!

Find out more about primary progressive MS

My MS is a thief

I used to walk long distances, go to the gym and drive extensively.

Now walking more than to my garage is just a joke. My hand-eye co-ordination is gone.

It’s a thief.

I can accept this, although it’s difficult. But why should my wife and daughter accept it? For them to see my life change must be hard.

Seeing my decline has me questioning, is it fair on them?

The answer is a resounding 'NO'.

It’s a thief.

It’s not fair on them at all. They deserve the man I used to be, not the man I am now. Staggering around, slurring and spilling things.

Seriously, keep me away from candles and cups.

It’s a thief.

I get daily looks that seem to say ‘look at the drunkard’. But these are now ignored, along with the bruises from the door frames I bounce off.

I do imbibe now and again, but nowhere near what I used to.

It’s a thief.

Many think of MS as a condition or disease. Me, I know it’s a thief. MS has stolen me from me. And that’s not something that's been easy to steal. I'm still the same (although older) guy. I’m slower, less steady and weaker than I used to be. But I’m still me.

It’s a thief.

Recently it has taken my job, my car, my dignity and my pride.

It’s a thief.

What has it given me? A Blue Badge for parking (in someone else’s car). A few crutches, a couple of mobility scooters, the knowledge of how to claim benefits, double vision, and the ability to get drunk on a few glasses!

None of which I actually want.

It’s a thief.

Without the patience and understanding of my family and friends this would be intolerable.

Thanks to you all.

Just don’t ask me for a cup of coffee, unless you really want half a cup. Because the other half's been stolen.