Speaking out about anxiety
Looking back I believe I’ve had anxiety since I was a child. But I didn’t recognise the symptoms until I was diagnosed with MS 15 years ago.
I was returning to work one day after an MS relapse, and I just couldn’t get on the train. I burst into tears and remember thinking to myself “What on earth is going on with you?” I was sweating, dizzy, and I felt vulnerable and out of control. It turns out I was having a panic attack.
My employer at the time made some reasonable adjustments to my working hours, which meant I could go into work slightly later. This meant I could avoid the stress of travelling in rush hour London, making my journey to work more manageable.
Later on, I was referred for cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) through my GP, where I learnt more about the cause of my anxiety, and some coping mechanisms.
Anxiety and MS
MS impacts my mental health because it’s such an unpredictable condition. When I wake up I never know how I’m going to feel that day. It’s that uncertainty that’s at the root of a lot of my anxiety.
But I’ve found ways to cope. The first thing I do when I’m having a difficult time mentally is speak to my sister. I've had to teach her how to help me through panic attacks. So when I’m having one, I’ll call her and then she'll talk to me and help me through it.
I also try mindfulness and grounding techniques. For example, sometimes my anxiety starts when I’m walking to the train station. So I make sure I hold my door keys in my hand until I get on the train. I focus on the physical sensation of the keys in my hand, and this helps me to feel grounded.
When I’m out and about, I also try and tune in to the surroundings around me: I think to myself: “What can I see? What can I hear? What can I smell?” It takes me out of my brain and back into reality.
Speaking out about mental health in the Black community
I think it's so important to speak out about mental health because not enough people talk about it.
As a Black female, I feel that in our community not enough of us talk much about what we're going through emotionally for various reasons. There’s this feeling that we have to be strong about everything and not show vulnerability.
But I've decided I don't want to be strong about everything. Sometimes I want to be open and transparent about how I feel. Sometimes I want to cry about it. But mostly, I want to make sure I speak out about it as much as I can to help others.
Becoming a mental health first aid instructor
That’s why, in 2019, I became an approved MHFA England Instructor Member to deliver Mental Health First Aid England (MHFA) courses. I get to go out to employers and deliver training to them, so they know how to support someone who’s having mental health issues or emotional distress. You’d be surprised how many senior leaders don't know how to support their staff with mental health problems.
The work feels amazing, because I'm helping people and creating a source of support. I lead by example - just before I start, I always share that I have anxiety.
And anxiety does still affect me today. But I’m finding it easier to manage. When I have a bad day now I always remind myself that I’ve had worse days before, and I’ve got through them.
You can follow Cherelle on Instagram @serenity_essentials4elevation
