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"Writing poems is my own form of therapy"

Amy Hambleton

I’ve been living with MS for nearly 10 years and this last year has been the toughest, both physically and mentally. I thought about counselling but didn't feel it was for me. So I started to write down how I felt which turned into poems.

Writing poems is my own form of therapy. I find it comforting to go back and read them. Some are about particularly hard times, and reading them reminds me how far I’ve come. Some are more positive and remind me how lucky I am. 

'My forever friend, MS' is the first poem I wrote, about acceptance. It sounds strange but I don’t think I fully realised I had MS until about a year ago. Until then it had all been relatively easy but then I had a relapse and it sunk in.

'The Spark' is about acceptance and positivity. During a recent relapse, the positivity that I relied on to keep me going just wasn’t there anymore. And I was forced to accept I was struggling. When I accepted it, I felt relieved and after a while that positivity slowly started to return. I feel like I’m getting stronger each day, possibly more than I was before. And I know that if I lose the positivity again, it will come back and I’ll be okay.

My forever friend, MS

You changed my life forever

You changed who I am

You changed what occupies my mind 

And all my future plans

You changed how I see the world 

And how the world sees me

You changed how I feel about myself

You made me not feel like me

You made all these changes

That I gave you no permission to do 

And now I have to navigate my life 

Reluctantly with you

You are to blame for my darkest times 

Times when I feel so low

You are there when life is so so good 

You never fail to show

I have tried to run and hide from you

But you will never leave my side

I now accept you are a part of me

And I take it in my stride

This doesn't mean I forgive you 

And I will never comprehend

I wish you hadn't picked me 

To be your forever friend

The Spark

I don't know how I lost you 

Or where I had you last

But I know you're in there somewhere

And I know that you'll be back

When I feel your glow within 

You give me that zest for life 

You make me feel like myself 

You keep me shining bright

But I know why you have to leave 

You sometimes need a break

You cannot always be that light 

That brightens everyday

 

Because when you are not here

I cannot help but feel

I cannot help but slow down

I allow myself to heal

So even on my darkest days

I know you are just waiting

Just waiting for the right time

To begin your reawakening

When I feel that glow returning

I see a glimmer of hope

I start to feel like myself again

I feel like I can cope

So I don't mind you sometimes leave

I know why you cannot stay 

Because without you here I feel 

And that's why it's okay

You can follow Amy on Instagram to read more of her poems.