We give each other grace

My name is Naomi. I was born and raised in Birmingham, England. I come from a family of mixed cultures, English and Jamaican. I’m a photographer - I’ve been teaching myself photography for a couple of years, and have experience in events and portraits. I have won many accolades in that time, with the latest being Portrait Of Britain which was on billboards earlier this year.

My photograph showcases Britain’s first black and blind female barrister. The call was to showcase faces of a changing Britain. This photo has been in multiple magazines, exhibitions and a book.

I’ve been married to Jason for 14 years. We have three children, our youngest is two months old. Jason is one of the kindest people I know. He’s always thinking of others. He loves sport, especially Formula 1 and football.

The doctor kept dismissing Jason’s symptoms

We had been married for around two and a half years when he became unwell. It took a while to get help as the doctor kept dismissing his symptoms. But one day while he was struggling at work, a pharmacist noticed and told him to go to the hospital. This was the day his diagnosis process started, and he was diagnosed with MS around 11 years ago.

Mentally it was very hard to accept for both of us. We probably both went through denial, anger and other stages of grief. Now we try to accept help when needed, such as assistance when travelling - just to take the pressure off. Our attitude is: if something will help, why be embarrassed? Accept the help.

Being Black has affected our experience of MS

Jason’s MS symptoms are fatigue, bowel issues, eye weakness and mobility issues.

He’s found that people assume he is drunk or on drugs instead of disabled, when seeing his lack of mobility. Being Black means that a lot of times people tend to believe something negative about you first based on appearance. A number of times, we’ve had issues going into establishments where alcohol is sold as they told Jason he looked high.

It definitely would be nice to see more representation of different ethnicities in the MS community. And also more discussion on how it affects couples and families.

Meeting people we identify with

We didn’t meet anyone in the MS community for years. But after attending a Talks with MS event run by Terri, we met a number of people to identify with. I have spoken to another couple in similar circumstances, and that really helped me not to feel so alone.

My tips for other families like ours? Do things that make you feel good and smile. And don’t forget to breathe when things get too heavy.

By telling our story during Black History Month, we would like people to know that for us, love never fails. After 14 years of marriage and building a family, a condition like MS does not have to break a family unit.

We work together and give each other grace.