MS Letters: to David, my husband, my rock
In this beautiful letter, Milla reflects on her journey with secondary progressive MS and the unwavering support of her husband, David.
We’ve both been on a journey since my MS diagnosis in 2019.
From the daunting appointment when my neurologist gave me the news, to the many hospital appointments you’ve driven me to, you’ve been my rock. You’ve never wavered, always staying calm, supportive and strong in the wake of this life-changing diagnosis.
Encouraging me to adapt
When I went out with my walker in 2021, after managing on two sticks until the pandemic, I noticed that sometimes people wouldn't look me in the eye or would go out of their way not to engage with me. I felt quite ashamed to using a walker having been more mobile before.
But as one of life's optimists, you focused on the positive.
'Forget about everyone looking – you’re getting out and about,' you said.
Your optimism helped me through the physical changes to my right leg and finding it challenging to walk around.
When ‘normal life’ resumed, I wanted to drive again. Thanks to a new left-hand accelerator pedal, I could, and you were as enthusiastic and encouraging as ever.
You’re my loyal supporter
When we moved house, you made sure a stairlift was fitted from day one. I could carry laundry, get to bed without struggling, and even bring you a cup of tea in the morning for the first time in years. I was so grateful for your thoughtfulness and for planning ahead.
I was so happy to make you a cup of tea, and you received it with the biggest smile, not just for the tea itself, but for what it meant to me to do something for you after so long.
Thanks to the stair lift, I can go upstairs whenever I want, without dreading the exhausting climb up the stairs.
You’ve been my loyal supporter through every stage. I’ve continued commuting to London as a psychotherapist, first with a walker, then a travel scooter, and now my power chair.
You always remind me: “You are amazing. Despite everything, you just keep buggering on”. Thanks to your encouragement, I’ve had the confidence to carry on helping veterans through trauma therapy by keeping up my work in central London.
Enabling what gives me freedom
Since lockdown, we’ve also brought dogs into our lives – our excuse to get out into the forest or down to the beach. You even bought an ex-Motability van so I could take my big off-road scooter. I think you probably wanted a faster, more exciting car at this stage of life, but instead, you chose what gave us more freedom for family days out.
Joining a research trial has helped you, too
When I could, I joined my first research study, the nationwide MS-STAT2 trial. Every time I walked the corridor or tried my best not to send pegs flying in the nine-hole peg test, you were by my side, urging me on.
Together we appreciated the chance to talk to neurologists, track my health, and understand more about progressive MS. I was devastated when the MS-STAT-2 trial came to an unsuccessful end, finding that the drug wasn’t an effective treatment for secondary progressive MS. But as the saying goes, “We’ve got to be in it to win it”. So, I was glad to sign up for another trial, the Octopus trial, and I’m sure I will keep doing so.
Our shared hope for MS research
Now I’m on the Octopus trial, taking pills that might be a treatment or a placebo (dummy drug) – no one knows yet. What matters is that research like this could one day slow or stop MS from progressing. Taking part feels like my way of giving back to the MS community.
I love that we do this together as a team – our little “Mr and Mrs Research” adventure, four times a year.
Thank you, David. I’m so grateful to you for coming on this journey with me.
Milla
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