How humour helps me cope with my MS
Annie, who lives with primary progressive MS (PPMS), shares how she uses humour to help her deal with the ups and downs of MS.
Well, MS gets on my nerves! There’s a delicate balance in using humour as a coping strategy without it becoming a way to avoid or minimise difficulties. Used appropriately, though, humour can help. It’s one way to live with the challenges of MS without being overwhelmed by them.
It’s my belief that humour is a gift and a blessing. MS can take my energy, my bladder control, my dexterity, whatever – but it can’t take my sense of humour.
I googled ‘jokes about MS’, and here’s what I found:
'Q: What do we want?
A: A cure for MS cog fog!
Q: When do we want it?
A: Ummm – want what?’
‘My worst fear about becoming a Zombie in the Zombie apocalypse? All that walking!’
‘A person with MS walks into a bar…then into a chair…then into a wall’ (welcome to my life – bruises on my shoulders from all the doorways I collide with!)
What humour can offer us
Humour, even the darkest humour, can help us to manage what could otherwise feel unmanageable. It can help us (well me, at least) to find our way through the challenges moment by moment. It can help us not to become overwhelmed by all the ‘what ifs’, ‘might bes’ and ‘shoulds’. It can help us to gain perspective on the imagined terrors of an unknowable future. ‘It’s not fair,’ I hear myself say. And in my head, I hear my mother’s usual reply – ‘it’s not raining’ (even when it was!)
Finding humour in difficult moments
I love the everyday humour that can come from life’s difficulties. Last year, I was referred to a consultant surgeon for a non-MS related issue. In his letter to my GP he wrote, ‘Annie is in very good health, apart from having MS…’ I’m in very good health, apart from being ill… I know what he meant, but reading my copy of the letter provided a welcome moment of lightness and comedy in my morning.
As the saying goes:
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall have endless amusement.
Life with MS can be hard, painful, challenging and scary. I’m sure you can think of a few other adjectives. MS gets on my nerves… But I can’t choose not to have MS. I’m stuck with it. I’m not powerless, though. I can choose how to respond to having MS.
Using humour to explain MS
I’ve found humour to be a good way to ease friends and family into a deeper understanding of the realities of MS. My ‘wobbles’ (I’m not drunk, I have MS. Well, actually, I might be a teensy bit drunk…). My bladder issues. My fatigue. My cog fog.
Humour helps me to cut my symptoms down to size, and makes them more manageable, practically and emotionally.
MS is part of who I am. It’s not all I am. If I can approach my symptoms calmly and without unnecessary panic, I’m better able to manage them. Anxiety gets in the way and trips me up. Humour helps reduce anxiety.
Taking back the power
Something I read recently illustrates how humour helps me manage my MS:
My health conditions can be challenging some days, but now I have removed the power away from my pain and anxiety…I tell them what I am doing and not the other way around any more.
(Tony Mitchell: Breathworks Community of Practice)
We all face challenges, though we don’t all face the same challenges. Laughter helps – ‘laughter, the best medicine’, as the Reader’s Digest magazine used to say. I began with the oldest MS joke – MS gets on my nerves. I wonder if anyone has any newer, better jokes to share?
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