Being judged for having an invisible disability
Lucy’s MS symptoms – like pain and fatigue – aren't always visible. She wants people to understand the impact of invisible disabilities.
Last August, I went to see the band Coldplay at Wembley with my boyfriend. The concert was amazing. But my experience of leaving the stadium highlighted a big issue around invisible disabilities.
As we were leaving, I approached the disabled exit and showed my MS card to explain that I have multiple sclerosis. Despite this, I was refused access because I wasn’t using a wheelchair.
In that moment, it felt like my condition was being judged purely on appearance, as though my disability wasn’t valid enough to need support.
The long walk led to a lot of pain
Because of this, we were directed into the main crowd. The walk back was long, crowded and overwhelming. With MS, my fatigue and pain can come on very quickly, and by that point my legs were already starting to struggle. Being forced into such a busy and physically demanding situation made everything worse.
Thankfully, my boyfriend was there supporting me the entire time. He stayed patient, made sure I was okay, and helped me keep going even when I was clearly struggling. I honestly don’t know how I would have managed that situation without him. I’m so grateful I had him by my side.
By the time we reached the station and got onto the train, I was in a significant amount of pain.
Standing on a packed tube after that walk was incredibly difficult. I became so overwhelmed that I started to get upset.
Eventually, someone kindly offered me a seat, which I was very grateful for. But I’ll admit I didn’t show my card in that moment, which I could have done.
Not every disabled person uses a wheelchair.
While the woman who gave me a seat meant well, she suggested that maybe I should get a wheelchair to make things easier for myself. Comments like that, even when they come from a good place, show how misunderstood invisible disabilities still are. Not everyone with a disability needs or uses a wheelchair, and suggesting that can feel dismissive of the reality of living with a fluctuating condition.
Because of MS, I live with symptoms that aren’t always visible. Pain, fatigue, and mobility issues can vary day to day, and hour to hour.
Just because I look “fine” doesn’t mean I’m not struggling.
This wasn’t the first time I’ve experienced something like this. At a Sam Fender concert, I used the accessible toilets and was met with judgement, stares, and people pushing in front of me. It became so overwhelming that I had a panic attack.
Perceptions need to change
My experiences are why awareness of invisible disabilities is so important. People shouldn’t have to prove their condition or fit a certain image to be treated with understanding and respect.
Accessibility should be based on need, not appearance.
Since this happened, I’ve taken it further with Wembley to raise awareness and help make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. And this is why I’m telling my story on the MS Society’s blog, because this is clearly a wider issue that needs more attention.
What needs to change is simple. Better awareness, better staff training, and more understanding that not all disabilities are visible.
No one should leave an event feeling dismissed, judged, or physically pushed beyond their limits just because their disability isn’t obvious.
This is a longer version of Lucy’s article, which was first published in our MS Matters magazine.
