MS Letters: Dear Caroline, from your older self

Mon 03 November 2025

Caroline was diagnosed with relapsing MS nearly 40 years ago, which is now secondary progressive. In her letter to her younger self, she reflects on love, loss, and a life lived to the full.

I’m writing to you, the Caroline of 10 years ago. You’re about to go through a lot. But you’ll live life to the full, so don’t worry. Yes, there’ll be lows, but so many highs.

You’ve been strong since your MS diagnosis nearly 40 years ago, even when you became a full-time wheelchair user. You’ll never let MS get you down.

Life won’t be without challenges

You will lose Campbell, your partner, in 2020 due to a brain tumour. It will feel surreal, but you will find a way to cope.

Losing him will mean big changes, but you won’t be alone.

Your loving sister, Louisa, will be there every day, checking in and helping however she can.

Caroline sits holding an orange envelope and her letter and smiles into the camera. Her sister sits next to her looking at her with care.

Finding a new purpose in life

As your MS progresses, you’ll find it harder to travel to clients and deliver training, so you’ll bring someone on to help. But when COVID hits, your job will become much more office-based which isn’t what you enjoy.

So when you turn 60, you’ll decide to retire from your still successful business to ‘take it easy’. But you’ll discover that you’re busier than ever doing what you love.

Discovering new ways to move

As your mobility reduces, you’ll take up seated javelin, shot put and discus.

Later, you’ll become an award-winning coach and referee in Boccia, a Paralympic sport like bowls, only better!

You’ll fall in love with Boccia from day one, and when you realise you’re not eligible to compete, you’ll throw yourself into coaching and refereeing. You’ll do so much to support others.

You’ll win Club Person of the Year, then go on to be awarded Disability Coach of the Year. By 2025, you’ll have achieved your Level 3 Referee Award and your Senior Coach Award.

One of your proudest moments will be seeing a player you first coached at 16 go on to compete for Great Britain!

Your volunteering work will take you to represent the MS Society at a meeting with the Prime Minister at Downing Street. You’ll meet Theresa May at an event celebrating advances in MS research. You’ll feel really honoured, and secretly fascinated by the fold-down lift built into the carpeted staircase!

And what’s more - you’ll adopt two playful goats, Princess and Snowdrop!

You’ll drive them home from the Mournes in the back of your new BMW to the amusement of everyone you pass. They’ll turn out to be far more than the lawnmowers you were after – funny, loving companions who wait at the gate for a cuddle whenever you come home.

Setbacks and new beginnings

In 2024, you’ll have a serious car accident, breaking your hip, knee, and breastbone. But you’ll be fortunate to get treated in the neurology unit of Musgrave Park Hospital, with daily physiotherapy. You’ll come out stronger than before.

You’ll even start working with a fantastic personal trainer who even gets you paddleboarding. Another new sport!

Shaping the future of MS treatment

Your MS is slowly progressing and that’s hard. But believe it or not, you’ll get involved in MS research. When you were first diagnosed back in the eighties, there weren’t the opportunities there are now.

So when you see the chance to help trial new drugs, you’ll think 'Why not?'

In 2022, you’ll see your neurologist for your six-monthly MS check-up. He’ll tell you all about the ChariotMS trial he’s involved in, and of course, you being you, you’ll immediately volunteer!

How the ChariotMS trial could help others

It’ll be a very simple process. You’ll be given either the drug cladribine (Mavenclad), or maybe a dummy drug (placebo). For two years, you’ll be assessed every six months to work out your level of MS progression. If this trial proves effective, it could slow down your MS progression. Wouldn’t that be fantastic!

There will be lots of benefits from taking part: you’ll get a full health MOT every few months, so you’ll know what stage your MS is at, motivation to stay active and eat well, and you’ll meet an excellent team of medical staff.

The thought of your symptoms not getting any worse will be your biggest motivation. But knowing that your contribution will help people affected by MS in the future will make you feel so proud.

You’ll cope fantastically with MS, supporting others along the way.

And you’ll always remember this: you have MS. It doesn’t have you.

Love you, your older self,

Caroline.

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