I knew something wasn’t quite right when I began seeing two laptops, two pens, two essays, two coffees… It started one year into my part-time MSc Health Psychology Degree. I was attending lectures and working part-time. But this all had to stop when I became increasingly unwell.
On New Year's Day 2015 I made a resolution; to exercise my brain daily. I downloaded the free Lumosity 'Brain Training Games App', and played five, two-minute long games every single day.
When fatigue hits and my body is too tired to move, when I can't even string a thought together I usually reach for music. I love to focus on the lyrics. Music evokes such happy thoughts and memories, an invigorating euphoria gives me energy.
I can’t get up the stairs. It’s taken 20 years to get to this point, but I can no longer haul myself up the 12 steps to our bedroom. I’ve tried every way possible, but now, after two weeks of exhausting night-time attempts to reach the summit, I’ve had to concede defeat.
Last night, I was the headline item on the 6.30pm BBC South East News. After filming over the past few weeks at an award ceremony in Brussels where I had won the European Patient Advocacy Award, plus filming at the pub afternoons I organise etc, I really thought the item would be about that! Instead, it focused on the HIV drugs I took for 28 days and how the drugs very positively impacted on my MS.
When I first found out I had MS, it was all about me. How would I cope? What would my life be like from now on? It took me a long time to look up and realise my husband must have been thinking the same things.
However, he’s never said that, not ever. He just got on with our now-altered life with not a word of complaint, not even a sigh. He still does.
I've never been a big fan of mirrors. I used to actively avoid them when I was a teenager and young adult. I didn't like how I looked and I just didn't like myself enough. Things got a lot better in my late twenties and now, approaching my forties, I look at photos of twenty-year-old me and think I looked ok.