First Reactions of Friends and Family
"My family were very supportive, but I lost friends because they couldn't cope with the MS. It made me sad, but ultimately I'm the same person, so it's their loss."
One of the first things you will have to think about after your initial diagnosis with MS is how it will affect those closest to you. However well you know them; you cannot anticipate how they will take the news, so it's probably best not to try to. The best thing you can do is be as honest as possible about the prognosis and how your MS will change your relationship with them, if at all.
People say that sometimes telling those closest to them is the hardest. There is a lot of worry associated with a condition such as MS. Parents worry that it is genetic and that they have passed it on to you. Partners worry that your relationship with them will be different and this will be a strain. Children worry that you are going to be taken away from them. Everyone worries that their thoughts and fears are a selfish reaction.
Talking about these issues is the only way to resolve them. Try to see any questions that family and friends have as objectively as you can, and encourage a frank dialogue. You can only do this once you have come to terms with the diagnosis yourself.
Although MS is inherently unpredictable, there is a lot of information available for people who have been newly diagnosed. Read as much as you can, talk to your GP, MS nurse, neurologist. You can download publications directly from the main MS Society website or ring the helpline on 0808 800 8000.
How people may react
There are many ways of dealing with finding out someone close to you has MS. Some people will be incredibly supportive and go out of their way to help. This often has the opposite effect and makes people with MS feel useless and frustrated. This overcompensation is upsetting for everyone. Try to explain to the person that you will ask for their help if you need it, but that you want them to treat you the same as they did before they knew you had MS.
Other people may avoid you because they don't know what to say. They don't know how to deal with you having MS, so they choose not to. This can be very hurtful. If you want to still have a relationship with this person then the only way forward is to talk to them about why they are behaving this way.