Joanne's Story
Joanne was diagnosed with MS in the summer of 2003 at the age of 28. Since her diagnosis she has been keeping a weblog of life with MS.
Well today...Valentines Day... my first with this dx of MS as well. The 20th is nearing - that day is when I celebrate the day that I realised something was very wrong with me!
Almost a year ago now I realised how bad my walking was...you know, the classic - SHE IS DRUNK bit - that I am sure we have all had...if not I hope you never go through it!
I was at work and was meeting some people to show them around a flat. I was late...so got out of the car and tried to walk quickly to get there. I thought all was well but the lady asked me if I had been drinking! It was at that time - 1.30pm 20 February 2003 that I knew things just couldn't carry on as they were. I guess I could say it was that specific day when I started out on the long path to diagnosis.
Early March 2003
I went to the DR after having a fall whilst out with my former Manager on a site inspection. I crashed and burned straight on my face in the middle of a very level path. I was convinced it was pissed and that I was just sensitive to uneven surfaces! But of course that day of the viewing and the old lady's comment niggled at me, so off to the DR's I went.
My GP is rubbish! Apparently, I had a middle ear infection. Then again, why shouldn't I have one? It makes you wobbly due to balance problems so YES THAT WAS IT!!! I took antibiotics and for the first time in my life stuck to the course! So why wasn't I any better at the end of it all?
Went back to the DR's towards the end of March and saw a different DR who referred me to see a Neurologist. I asked why I had to see a BRAIN DOCTOR if I had a middle ear infection. But, as you do, I done as I was told...waited to see the BIG DR at the hospital.
April 2003
I saw a Dr Singh. I had to walk down the corridor. Then place my finger on my nose - more difficult than it seems - then lay down whilst he stuck a pin in various places on my legs. He asked me if I could feel what he was doing...I couldn't...he informed me that if he done it any harder he would draw blood. I didn't believe him...
Mum and I sat down after the tests then he just came out with it - all matter of fact like - I FEEL YOU MAY HAVE MS... Huh...YA 'AVING A LAUGH MATE! I AINT IN A WHEELCHAIR!!! Little did I know that only a small percentage of people with MS are in wheelchairs!
Dr Singh informed me that I had to have a MRI scan. So I thought well if he thinks I have this - MS - then this scan will be tomorrow...actually it ended up being 11 weeks later on 8 July 2003!
So with all the time lapsing since seeing this DR, carrying on with life, partying, working, playing hard but resting even harder...I wasn't concerned when the scan day came along.
I went after work to a Hospital about 20 miles away from my home. It wasn't the experience I was expecting. Far from being a clinical, false environment there were people there laughing, music playing and loads going on at 7pm - for a hospital I felt quite at home!
The MRI scan was the worst! I hear many people talking about lumbar punctures - I did - and still maintain - I will NEVER have one of those unless I am sooooo knocked out!!! The scan was a nightmare! I made the man pull me out of that tube making that awful knocking noise on three separate occasions! I know he thought I was such a big baby...well I don’t mind because I was!!!
A 20 minute scan took 1 hour and 15 minutes with me. When the last few seconds dragged by I couldn't get out of there quick enough! No amount of music playing or people laughing was going to keep me in that place a moment longer than necessary!
Well the week dragged by waiting for a phone call about the results. The longer that the hours turned into days my family and I were convinced that no news is good news and secretly I thought everyone was mad and there was nothing wrong with me! I was convinced that if I had MS they would be hauling me off to hospital and dealing with it - pretty much like a broken ankle or something!
July 2003
I was sitting at my desk at work waiting for a phone call about an order I had placed for a new printer cartridge. The call came at 9.30am...it was my GP. She said that the results of my scan had been faxed to the surgery and I needed to go and see her. RELIEF I thought! She has asked me to come in...it must be good news because otherwise an ambulance would come and collect me from work and take me straight to hospital! My family agreed...I didn't need anyone to come with me that morning because I WAS FINE! MS..ME? NO WAY!
I even woke up late that morning...11 July 2003. It is Heath's birthday on the 12th so the kids and I had been up quite late organising a trip as a surprise for him. I arrived at the DR's surgery 15 minutes late! That is like committing a crime you know!
I expected a stern looking DR when I arrived because I was late. Instead I never expected what happened. I walked in and there my GP sat with a look of pity on her face. Before she told me anything she said she was SORRY...sorry for what? Me arriving late?
She read the report of the scan...words I did not understand. So what's that I said. JOANNE YOU HAVE MS... Silence...and more silence... I sat there numb... I was devastated. She said that I should go home and go back and see her on the Monday...apparently it was a shock. A shock?! Now that was an understatement!
I walked out of the surgery empty. No feelings...no emotion... My Mum was standing outside. I saw her, she saw me - she knew...just by the look on my face...she knew I had MS. I collapsed onto the floor and sobbed like I have never sobbed before. She cried and held me...we sat there on the floor of the DR's car park crying and crying and even more crying.
So that is my story of diagnosis. Did I think I had MS...NO the thought never crossed my mind. Even to this day I think about the build up to that day and feel that I should have taken the whole situation a little more seriously...
So it is nearing the day that I guess you could say was the start of a relapse. The walking was a big clue that I just dealt with...almost 1 year on, and even armed with my walking stick, I am still in shock.
MY NAME IS JOANNE...I HAVE MS.
Almost a year ago now I realised how bad my walking was...you know, the classic - SHE IS DRUNK bit - that I am sure we have all had...if not I hope you never go through it!
I was at work and was meeting some people to show them around a flat. I was late...so got out of the car and tried to walk quickly to get there. I thought all was well but the lady asked me if I had been drinking! It was at that time - 1.30pm 20 February 2003 that I knew things just couldn't carry on as they were. I guess I could say it was that specific day when I started out on the long path to diagnosis.
Early March 2003
I went to the DR after having a fall whilst out with my former Manager on a site inspection. I crashed and burned straight on my face in the middle of a very level path. I was convinced it was pissed and that I was just sensitive to uneven surfaces! But of course that day of the viewing and the old lady's comment niggled at me, so off to the DR's I went.
My GP is rubbish! Apparently, I had a middle ear infection. Then again, why shouldn't I have one? It makes you wobbly due to balance problems so YES THAT WAS IT!!! I took antibiotics and for the first time in my life stuck to the course! So why wasn't I any better at the end of it all?
Went back to the DR's towards the end of March and saw a different DR who referred me to see a Neurologist. I asked why I had to see a BRAIN DOCTOR if I had a middle ear infection. But, as you do, I done as I was told...waited to see the BIG DR at the hospital.
April 2003
I saw a Dr Singh. I had to walk down the corridor. Then place my finger on my nose - more difficult than it seems - then lay down whilst he stuck a pin in various places on my legs. He asked me if I could feel what he was doing...I couldn't...he informed me that if he done it any harder he would draw blood. I didn't believe him...
Mum and I sat down after the tests then he just came out with it - all matter of fact like - I FEEL YOU MAY HAVE MS... Huh...YA 'AVING A LAUGH MATE! I AINT IN A WHEELCHAIR!!! Little did I know that only a small percentage of people with MS are in wheelchairs!
Dr Singh informed me that I had to have a MRI scan. So I thought well if he thinks I have this - MS - then this scan will be tomorrow...actually it ended up being 11 weeks later on 8 July 2003!
So with all the time lapsing since seeing this DR, carrying on with life, partying, working, playing hard but resting even harder...I wasn't concerned when the scan day came along.
I went after work to a Hospital about 20 miles away from my home. It wasn't the experience I was expecting. Far from being a clinical, false environment there were people there laughing, music playing and loads going on at 7pm - for a hospital I felt quite at home!
The MRI scan was the worst! I hear many people talking about lumbar punctures - I did - and still maintain - I will NEVER have one of those unless I am sooooo knocked out!!! The scan was a nightmare! I made the man pull me out of that tube making that awful knocking noise on three separate occasions! I know he thought I was such a big baby...well I don’t mind because I was!!!
A 20 minute scan took 1 hour and 15 minutes with me. When the last few seconds dragged by I couldn't get out of there quick enough! No amount of music playing or people laughing was going to keep me in that place a moment longer than necessary!
Well the week dragged by waiting for a phone call about the results. The longer that the hours turned into days my family and I were convinced that no news is good news and secretly I thought everyone was mad and there was nothing wrong with me! I was convinced that if I had MS they would be hauling me off to hospital and dealing with it - pretty much like a broken ankle or something!
July 2003
I was sitting at my desk at work waiting for a phone call about an order I had placed for a new printer cartridge. The call came at 9.30am...it was my GP. She said that the results of my scan had been faxed to the surgery and I needed to go and see her. RELIEF I thought! She has asked me to come in...it must be good news because otherwise an ambulance would come and collect me from work and take me straight to hospital! My family agreed...I didn't need anyone to come with me that morning because I WAS FINE! MS..ME? NO WAY!
I even woke up late that morning...11 July 2003. It is Heath's birthday on the 12th so the kids and I had been up quite late organising a trip as a surprise for him. I arrived at the DR's surgery 15 minutes late! That is like committing a crime you know!
I expected a stern looking DR when I arrived because I was late. Instead I never expected what happened. I walked in and there my GP sat with a look of pity on her face. Before she told me anything she said she was SORRY...sorry for what? Me arriving late?
She read the report of the scan...words I did not understand. So what's that I said. JOANNE YOU HAVE MS... Silence...and more silence... I sat there numb... I was devastated. She said that I should go home and go back and see her on the Monday...apparently it was a shock. A shock?! Now that was an understatement!
I walked out of the surgery empty. No feelings...no emotion... My Mum was standing outside. I saw her, she saw me - she knew...just by the look on my face...she knew I had MS. I collapsed onto the floor and sobbed like I have never sobbed before. She cried and held me...we sat there on the floor of the DR's car park crying and crying and even more crying.
So that is my story of diagnosis. Did I think I had MS...NO the thought never crossed my mind. Even to this day I think about the build up to that day and feel that I should have taken the whole situation a little more seriously...
So it is nearing the day that I guess you could say was the start of a relapse. The walking was a big clue that I just dealt with...almost 1 year on, and even armed with my walking stick, I am still in shock.
MY NAME IS JOANNE...I HAVE MS.
New website: Pieces
Pieces is a new site for the 18-40 crowd. If you are recently diagnosed, living with a diagnosis, or maybe waiting for one, this site is written in your language and covers the most frequently asked questions.
