Emotions and Intimacy

Relationships can be a nightmare at times for any of us, but they can also be an amazing addition to your life.  Maybe you’re in the honeymoon phase, always thinking about each other and making crazy promises to be with each other for ever.  Maybe you’re in that comfortable-with-each-other phase, or maybe it’s a mixture of both. Whether single and dating, newly coupled-up or in a long-term partnership, it's important to recognise that people with MS can face additional emotional and physical problems, but with a few adjustments many of these can be overcome.

Changes to your concentration levels or muddled thinking, for example, can affect how you communicate with your partner. People with MS may 'drift away' during intimate discussions or during sex. Their partners may misinterpret this symptom and feel they are dull lovers or that their partner doesn’t fancy them anymore. It's important you both accept this lack of concentration for what it is - a genuine symptom of MS - and understand it doesn't necessarily signal a lack of interest.

Coping with the challenges associated with a long-term condition can add to you or your partner's stress levels, and complicate your relationship.  A whole range of emotions can be involved - guilt, fear, anger and so on, and any number of misunderstandings can result from not talking to each other about how you feel.

Communication and honesty is key.  Knowing what is going on with each other can help, as can avoiding hiding things or keeping them to yourself.  People with MS and their partners often report that the condition creates both physical and emotional barriers and their relationship can suffer as a result.  Discussing your fears can help to prevent you from feeling isolated and withdrawing from your partner even further.  Getting some counselling, together or alone, could make a real difference.